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My name is Jessica and I walk with Bipolar Disorder. It can be difficult to share with people, which is exactly the reason I am writing this article.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. walk with mental illnesses and 1 in 20 walk with serious mental health illnesses. Everyone knows or has met someone who is affected, whether they can see it or not. Many times, people suffer silently. And part of the reason for this is the stigma surrounding the topic. Mental illness does not get talked about enough, especially in the workplace. I believe one way of breaking down the stigma is through raising awareness of mental illness, which is why I am choosing to share my own mental health journey.
“1 in 5 adults in the U.S. walk with mental illnesses and 1 in 20 walk with serious mental health illnesses. Everyone knows or has met someone who is affected, whether they can see it or not. Many times, people suffer silently” ~ National Alliance on Mental Illness
In this article, I’ll share about my mental health journey and how learning Salesforce and preparing for a career in the Salesforce ecosystem contributed to my healing journey
My Trailblazer Journey Begins
I discovered Salesforce during the fall of my freshman year of college in 2017 at the University of Colorado at Boulder. I was taking a Women in Business class in which women executives came and shared their career success. An executive from Salesforce spoke on a career panel and mentioned the company wanted to start a student group at the school. I attended the meeting Salesforce set up and completed my first Trailhead badge. My Trailblazer journey began. I helped co-found the first Salesforce student group in the world. We held events ranging from company highlights, to working sessions, to career fairs. In the spring, I got a job at the school working on Salesforce data entry.
Despite my Success, Something Didn’t Feel Right
I started noticing some symptoms of depression my freshman year of college. Some days it was more difficult to get out of bed than others. Anxiety attacks made it difficult to go to class. Reading comprehension became difficult. I decided to reach out for help and went to the physical health clinic to see a doctor. I wanted to believe it was anything other than a mental illness. I then had a panic attack in front of the doctor and they guided me to a psychiatrist. The idea of medication was difficult for me. I wanted to make it go away without medication, so I left without a prescription.
“I wanted to believe it was anything other than a mental illness.” Because of the stigma of mental illness, many people don’t get help and go undiagnosed.
During the fall of my sophomore year, I continued leading the Salesforce student group. It was a challenge trying to learn Salesforce for myself and teach other students how to use it at the same time, and my peer student leaders had graduated, but I persisted and dug a little deeper in the Salesforce world. I attended my first Salesforce community event in Denver, where I met an amazing group of people/network of individuals. I continued my data entry job at the school under new management. I didn’t know it at the time, but my new manager Kelly Hamilton would become one of my most influential mentors. While serving as my boss, she also stepped in as the staff mentor for the Salesforce club and taught me how to be a good leader.
Getting Treatment Helped Initially
A few weeks before the fall of my sophomore year, the depression worsened to the point where I knew I couldn’t ignore it any longer.I met with a psychiatrist, who prescribed me Prozac (an SSRI antidepressant). After a week on the medication, I felt better — I moved into an apartment in Boulder, Colorado. I immediately went shopping to fill the space in my apartment with furniture and art. I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness. I was excited for a new beginning without the feelings of depression. The world was a more vibrant place. Everything was more interesting. My dreams seemed more attainable than ever and I needed to be surrounded by people on a consistent basis. I felt more “normal” than I had felt in my entire life. I remember going on shopping trips to thrift stores and staring at every item for minutes at a time because I was fascinated by the variety of colors. In a way it was easier to focus on schoolwork, but in a way it was more difficult. I was easily distracted, yet hyper-focused.
“I felt more ‘normal’ than I had felt in my entire life.”
Ups and Downs
Things were going well, it seemed, until they weren’t. One day, I couldn’t leave my bed. I was exhausted. Eating cereal from the box beside my bed became my single source of nutrition. I did not turn on the lights. I did not open the blinds, and I did not speak to anyone. I couldn’t leave my room. I felt paralyzed. This went on for days. Then, just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. It sunk in how off something was. My friends knew something was wrong.
“I sought help from a different doctor and tried a different treatment.”
At this point I was failing my classes, and there was no way I could finish the semester. I moved home and went back to the psychiatrist. After a disagreement over medication and no available options for another psychiatrist, I visited my primary care doctor. Though not a psychiatrist, she offered to help and prescribed a different SSRI called Paxil.The new medication combined with counseling made me hopeful for my return to classes in the spring.
Focus on Salesforce
Throughout the spring semester, I became dedicated to learning about the Salesforce program through their free online learning platform called Trailhead. I went to more community events and started thinking about careers in the Salesforce ecosystem. Salesforce became my rock. Through everything, I consistently completed badges and trails on Trailhead.
“Salesforce became my rock. Through everything, I consistently completed badges and Trails on Trailhead.”
Official Diagnosis — The Signs Were All There in Hindsight
When I went back to the University of Colorado at Boulder for the spring semester, I was hopeful. Then it started again. The euphoric feeling. Carefree shopping. The need to see people. And then all of a sudden, the feeling of hopelessness. But this time, it happened in 48 hour increments. Awake for over 30 hours, then like a light switch out for over 30 hours. On the upswing, painting and shopping became a habit. On the downswing, canceling plans with friends because I was too tired became routine. And going to class became impossible. And just as it happened in the fall semester, it happened in the spring. I was failing my classes. I had to stop. I had to go home and get support. During this time, my parents attended a Family to Family class held by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, which helped them understand what I was going through and provide support.
I Needed Help
I was finally able to visit a psychiatrist at the school, and she asked me if I had heard about Bipolar Disorder. I had heard of it before, but knew nothing about it. Looking back, I had all the classic symptoms. She gave me an official diagnosis of bipolar disorder and explained how SSRIs can actually inflame bipolar episodes. Receiving a diagnosis was a relief — at least now I knew what I was dealing with.
“Receiving a diagnosis was a relief.”
Leveraging my Salesforce Experience to Volunteer
Mental illness had derailed my 5 year plan, and that felt awful. I would not graduate college in 4 years. To an extent, I was feeling hopeless. I needed to find something to focus on — I chose Salesforce and volunteered my skills to help others. I knew that implementing Salesforce at a nonprofit would be a great experience, and I had worked with a nonprofit for a few years prior called the Rocky Mountain Leadership Foundation. The foundation holds a free week-long leadership conference in Colorado every summer for high school students. I volunteered to automate their application and registration process using Salesforce’s Nonprofit Success Pack (NPSP), moving them from Excel spreadsheets to a flexible and powerful CRM. Additionally, I redesigned their conference website and even expanded my volunteering to create websites for other organizations.
Taking Time to Heal
I decided I needed to take a semester-long leave of absence from school. I still wanted to pursue a degree, but realized I needed to commit to healing my body. I had to switch medications. I started attending a Peer-to-Peer class by the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I read books about bipolar disorder. I still experienced minor episodes, but I was getting better through the help of group therapy, education, medication, my family, friends, and my psychiatrist.
Focusing on Positive Outcomes
With more time on my hands, I became fully committed to learning Salesforce. I entered a case competition held by Trailhead. I completed 100 badges, attaining the Ranger rank. I passed the Salesforce Administrator exam and started growing connections within the Salesforce community, especially on Twitter. I had the chance to go to Dreamforce, Salesforce’s yearly conference, through my association with the student group at CU Boulder. Dreamforce was a pivotal moment for me. It made me realize that my dreams were attainable and I could get through the challenges I faced.
“Salesforce provided a light at the end of the tunnel.”
Making Changes to Stay on Track
When the spring semester came around, I made the decision to switch to a community college. It was a better fit for me and made more sense financially. I visited a new psychiatrist (now my fourth) and switched medications to the ones I am currently on, Lamictal and Abilify. I still had anxiety about going back to class, so I started with one online class. Then the pandemic started. It was difficult being isolated, but I felt and still feel grateful that my life was not impacted as much as other people. At this point, I had not experienced an episode in over 6 months.
I decided to make a life motto.
“From this point forward I will view my struggles as strength builders, and challenges as opportunities.”
Keeping my Career in Focus
During the spring semester, I hit the 300 badge mark on Trailhead. I earned my second Salesforce certification, and things were working out smoothly with the leadership conference application and registration process I had implemented at the Rocky Mountain Youth Leadership Foundation. I discovered a Deloitte program for students, and attended seminars introducing students to Salesforce consulting which helped me further my Salesforce skills.
I went back to school in the fall full-time. I was working 30 hours a week, with a job at the school and a Salesforce internship. I was the system administrator for the company at my internship. I earned my 3rd certification and attended another Deloitte consulting program. At this point, I reached over 700 badges on Trailhead. I created an online portfolio introduced by a Trailhead badge to showcase my newly acquired work experience and highlight my certifications.
When January of 2021 came around, I started looking for jobs for after college. I used a Salesforce developer org to create a job search app to track various companies and positions I anticipated applying to. I attended the Trailblazer Connect career fair and met my current employer, Fast Slow Motion. I earned my fourth Salesforce certification and focused on learning as much as I could in my internship and volunteering with the nonprofit while still working on earning badges. In May, I received a job offer from Fast Slow Motion.
“In May, I received an offer from Fast Slow Motion.”
Perseverance Pays Off
In the fall of 2021, I moved from my hometown of Colorado Springs, Colorado to Seattle, Washington. I started my career as a Salesforce Implementation Specialist and graduated with an Associate’s degree. During the spring, I earned my 5th Salesforce certification. I also celebrated my 6 month anniversary at Fast Slow Motion.
“My illness is part of my journey, but it does not define who I am.”
My name is Jessica, and I walk with Bipolar Disorder.
My illness is part of my journey, but it does not define who I am. I am ultimately grateful for the challenges I was presented with. I would not be who I am today without them. I would not be where I am today without the guidance of my mentors and the support of the Salesforce community, family, friends, and my employer, Fast Slow Motion.
Advice for Anyone Experiencing Mental Illness
If I could give advice to someone going through mental illness, it would be to try to view life and challenges from a new angle, just as I did with my life motto. A few others include:
Find a support system. This could be through friends, family, a psychiatrist, support group, therapist, or even through community programs.
Get educated on the signs and symptoms of mental illness. Everyone has a different experience and some symptoms can be mitigated.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help and trust doctors. They are here for you and have expertise. Sometimes it can be hard to acknowledge the need for medication or therapy, but oftentimes medication and therapy can help immensely.
Find a “rock” or hobby you can focus on. This could range anywhere from focusing on your career, art projects, or even volunteering in the community.
Recognizing Signs and Symptoms of Mental Illness
Oftentimes, it can be hard for people going through mental illness to recognize signs and symptoms. Sometimes family or friends can step in and help recognize symptoms. Some common symptoms, listed on the National Alliance on Mental Illness website, which are different for everyone, can include:
Feelings of sadness
Feelings of fear
Trouble concentrating and comprehending
Feelings of euphoria
Feelings of anger
Avoiding social activities
Experiencing delusions
Low or high energy levels
Hunger or loss of appetite
Trouble perceiving emotions
Tiredness, headaches, and unexplainable pain
These are just a few symptoms, and it is important to recognize that everyone’s experiences are different and they are all valid.
I hope this article provided some insight into Bipolar Disorder and mental illness. I would also like to share some resources for anyone who may be struggling with mental illness.
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
The Bipolar Survival Guide
David J. Miklowitz
National Suicide Prevention Line
800–273–8255
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